Naming a kid is hard.
Sometimes we try to think of family names to include in our kid’s name. Apparently there’s a “Tobias” somewhere in Ned’s family history. I can’t get past the “never-nude” from Arrested Development to even give that name a chance.
I’m 27 weeks pregnant. Our baby’s room is a pile of good intentions and unused furniture. I’m currently trying to expose this baby to all of my favorite music so it knows what’s up when it comes into the world. That’s far more important than painting his room.
Yes, that’s right, we found out that we’re having a boy. I really thought I would like to wait until this baby was born to know its gender. Well, I didn’t. I was convinced I was having a girl, and since I have zero girl items, I wanted to know if I needed to buy soft pink colors for everything. Sure, sure, no one is going to yell at me if she’s wearing her big brother’s onesies, but… come on. If you were having a girl, wouldn’t you want to buy dresses and leggings and little mary-jane shoes? Of course you would.
Finn is currently kicking me under the ribs. Hey little man, that hurts! But, I guess you’re not the first. Oh, yes, we’re thinking of naming this little rascal Finnegan. More on that name after bit.
See, the other reason I wanted to know if we were having a boy or girl is because I wanted a little security in my life. It may not seem like a big deal for those people who happily wait until delivery to find the gender, but I found some comfort in knowing something now that will effect my life forever. The thing is, there are about to be a lot of great BIG LIFE ALTERING (and incredibly close?) things happening with our little family. I like lists, so I thought this would make it easier to explain.
1. For the past year my husband has been testing, interviewing, testing, testing, interviewing, driving to Harrisburg, driving back from Harrisburg, testing some more, Driving to Harrisburg again… to get a job with the Pennsylvania Game Commission. Well, all that driving, interviewing, crying (Ned is such a cry-baby), and testing finally came to a successful end: He got the job!!!
2. Well, this is just the beginning. Since he has agreed to become a Game Warden for the PGC, he has also agreed to attend a year-long training in Harrisburg, PA. Sorry, Read: No Family Allowed. I imagine the creators of this program were life-time bachelors who could only be tamed long enough to get some training so they could again return to their natural habitat: The Wild Woods of Pennsylvania.
3. Okay, so after the year long training is over Ned returns home, right? Well, mostly right. After the year is over we will then be told where in Pennsylvania we’ll be living. It could be close, or we could be on the other side of the state. So, the good news is I get to leave my rotten kitchen behind. The bad news is, a lot of unknowns ahead! And potentially being further from our friends and family than we want to be.
4. Did I mention that I am having a baby? Oh yeah, that’s right…I’m due May 31st, a few months after Ned leaves for training. Hoping, Wishing, Praying that Finn takes a lesson from his brother and bakes longer than 35 weeks.
5. I’m thinking I should rename my blog: Hannah Tall and Plain: The Story of a Game Warden’s Wife. Okay, so that’s a joke…maybe.
So, my thinking is, anyone who says: “Well, if God wanted you to know what sex the baby, he would have put a window in your belly” can just well…whatever phrase would be appropriate for: Leave me be.
And, the reason I like the name Finn? It actually comes from a book that I loved when I was in highschool. A Separate Peace. It isn’t just that I like the book, but I particularly loved the character in the book named Finny. He’s the type of boy that you wish were your friend. Here’s a description of him ripped from Sparknotes (the online version, naturally):
Finny is honest, handsome, self-confident, disarming, extremely likable, and the best athlete in the school; in short, he seems perfect in almost every way. He has a talent for engaging others with his spontaneity and sheer joy of living, and, while he frequently gets into trouble, he has the ability to talk his way out of almost any predicament. According to Gene, he is rare among human beings in that he never perceives anyone as an enemy, and never strives to defeat others. Finny’s behaviors also suggest that he relishes pure achievement rather than competition. His fatal flaw is that he assumes that everyone is like him—that everyone shares his enthusiastic and good-natured spirit.
If I ended up with a boy like that, I really wouldn’t mind at all.
With all of these changes and unknowns, where does that leave me? Well, some days are better than others. At this point it is all anticipation and no reality. I can create really terrible scenarios in which this is the worst decision of our lives. What can I say? I’m soooo creative. But -- and I’m not just saying this to cover my butt and make sure I say the “right” thing -- I do know that God will provide. I don’t think Ned and I have ever prayed about any decision more than we have this one. Not even our choice to have children was given this much consideration. I believe that God is leading us down this path and that only he really knows what is ahead. Sure, absolutely, there will be days when I will feel sorry for myself. There will be sleepless nights when I may want to yell at Ned for not being around. There will be times when I feel useless and lonely and sad. I expect to be sad sometimes. Everyone is sad when their best friend isn’t around as much. There will be times when Ned feels like this, too. But, I know, I know, that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I also know that God loves my little family and I have personally experienced the way that God has provided for me in the past. God doesn’t simply limit my blessings to the things I need not to starve, he gives me abundantly more than this, and he always has. I don’t expect this to change in the future, even when things are difficult.
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| 27 weeks (March 2, 2012 Dr. Seuss's birthday) |
So, welcome, welcome, Finnegan (Some Middle Name) Kimmel. Stay put until you’re big enough to be healthy. But, welcome, welcome, we love you, and we rejoice that God has decided to give the world another life. May you be a blessing to this world.
