I am learning how to just have fun with Jack and still accomplish the things I need to get done. Not looking at every day as a 10-15 hour shift. Life as a Monday-Friday single Mom can be challenging, and will only become more challenging when I am no longer pregnant, but am actually caring for two boys. I can't wait to meet Finn, but I am also anxious about the changes. Afraid my laundry and dishes will become a raging consuming monster (assuming that I take the time to cook and eat during those early days).
But, I am also excited for the challenge and know that this is where God grows my character the most. I know that God will not give me more than I can handle because God will be there with me: At the 10 o'clock nursing, and the 11 o'clock nursing, and the 11:24 o'clock tuck- him-back-into-bed-time, and the 12 o'clock I think I am going to cry from exhaustion nursing, and the 1 o'clock I-don't-know-why-I-just-woke-up-on-my-own-the-baby-is-still-sleeping-but-I-will-check-on-him-to-make-sure-he-is-still-breathing-time, and the 2:00 o'clock I don't know why my dog thought she would get a turn to go out and pee time, and the 4 o'clock thank-you-God I got to sleep for two hours this time nursing, and the 4:45 o'clock Jack wanted to be a part of the party time, and the 5:00 o'clock baby and Mom are asleep nursing, and the 8:00 o'clock Jack, cat, and dog are all ready to start the day because that is our routine time.
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| 31 weeks, I think |
Yes, I am thinking that if the dust bunnies start rolling during those first few months, that just might be okay (they do now and we seem to be okay). And if I take my sleep-deprived butt to the grocery store please don't be alarmed if you see me and I don't see you. Or if I am a bit snappish. Or possibly crying. Or have that vacant I-haven't-showered-and -I-don't-know-what-I-look-like look. I don't want to know what I look like. If you dare talk to me, just tell me I look beautiful and my children look healthy. And maybe offer to help carry my groceries.
