It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
Here is encouragement for parents who are like me.
I can probably be
accused of “over-thinking” this whole parenting thing. Feeding, bathing, and
diapering a baby is one thing. And, when Jack was a newborn, I was completely
overwhelmed by the night feedings, the constant diaper changing, and the
general sacrifice that comes with having a baby who depends on you for
everything. But, a new baby stays in one place when you leave the room. A newborn
doesn’t tell you “no” when you ask him to pick up his toys. A baby doesn’t get
angry and throw one toy because it won’t fit properly into a toy from another
set. A baby may cry when he’s hungry, but he doesn’t throw his head against his
highchair because he’s disgusted that you gave him water instead of milk. Oh,
and your newborn doesn’t start running for the road giggling because you’re
chasing him and yelling “stop!” These are the things that a toddler does.
Many nights after Jack
would go to bed, I would stay awake thinking, “I was too harsh today.” Or, “I
was too easily frustrated by the things he did.” Or, “Nothing I do seems to
make a difference in his behavior.” Or, “I hope he knows I still love him even
when he gets disciplined.” I pray for wisdom and patience, but some days I feel
like I fail greatly in both areas. Some days I think, “I am simply not cut out
for this. I don’t know why I think I can do this.”
Ned and I have been
trying to teach Jack to sit with us in church. He has had this running cold for
weeks so we have not been putting him in children’s ministry. It isn’t exactly
natural for a toddler to want to stay sitting and quiet during a whole church
service. One Sunday Jack hit me because I wouldn’t put him down during worship.
Another Sunday he spent most of the service trying to escape so he could run
around the building. Ned and I grew discouraged and had no idea how to teach
Jack to sit and to be quiet. Later that day, Ned said to me, “Hannah, I don’t
know for sure if this is from God, but I think it is. I feel like we just need
to carry on with what we’re doing and we will see results.”
Well, I think we are
starting to see the fruits of our parenting. I’m not saying that Jack always
listens to us, or that he doesn’t still throw tantrums, or that he eats all of
his vegetables or something, but there is definitely improvement. A few months
ago I took Jack to the library. He was EVERYwhere. He didn’t care at all when I
asked him to stay with me. Yesterday, my Mom and I took him back to the
library. He wanted to explore the
whole building, but when I told him “no,” he actually listened! Oh, and here’s
something else really exciting! Last Sunday he sat in his Ammie’s lap for the
entire sermon! He was such a good boy! 
So, if you’re like me, and you feel like you’re flailing in this parenting thing… there is hope. Your daily parenting IS making a difference, even when it feels like your efforts are as effective as trying to fill the Grand Canyon with one bucket of water at a time.
